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Midaia
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Name: Midaia
Metro:
Interests: I would take an automotive mechanics class if I had time.
Expertise: spying, tambourine playing, and dodging romantic relationships... except one... that I rather enjoy...
Occupation: student & Olive Garden server
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/26/2004
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| Scoli-the-freak-osisA few years ago, I went to a chiropractor for the first time and found out I have a small scoliosis. This is when your spine curves from side to side. I'm lucky. It's slight and you can't really tell. I mean, I had no idea for over 20 years. For some it can be really noticeable and even make your shoulder blades and shoulders crooked. My mom had to spend her entire 13th year in a body cast and has a metal rod in her back to straighten hers.
Let's get back to my scoli-the-freak-osis. Earlier this year, I got a new driver's license and when I went to stand in front of the blue screen, the photo lady said, "Hold your head straight, please." But I was. So I tilted it and tilted it and she requested and requested and looked confused and eventually took the photo.
Today I got my hair cut. And once again, I was told to hold my head straight on numerous occasions. Now, I always think that I am holding my head straight. (Although, I do know that I have more flexibility on one side of my neck than the other.)
Just now I was home examining my new hair cut in the mirror when I realized that perhaps my face is more symmetrical than I previously gave it credit. It has always seemed like my glasses sit crooked and honestly, I just thought that my ears and quite a few of my facial features were just slightly unsymmetrical. (Once again, not in a really obvious way--just subtley.) So I carefully tilt my head... and lo and behold... my ears are suddenly even... my glasses are sitting straight. And my whole face is more symmetrical!
Which brings me to the end of my scoli-the-freak-osis rambling. I'm sitting here trying to hold my head "straight". Which for me feels like I'm holding it sideways. And walking around like this... also makes me feel like I'm a big loser walking around with her head held sideways. So I'm not sure how long this will last... I don't know if I can hold my neck in such a way as to teach it to hold my head straight... but we'll see... (Also this makes my left shoulder blade feel tense...)
CROOKED HEAD! ;)
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| AGING in light of MOVIESI just spent an hour reading old Xanga entries trying to find a previous post on this topic. Forget it. But I do enjoy reading the old posts. Here's an excerpt I really liked today:
What a pensive day. I gave a boy a ride home... the route was the same as giving Alex a ride home. Back in the day. Before he ran away to NYC. Before I was mean. It's crazy how much our lives are like books. I feel like we write a chapter and then forget about it, only to inadvertently reread it at times. Hmm... so many chapters and so many more to be written.
-February 9, 2005
So anyhow, craziness in movies:
Saw "Star Trek" last night. Winona Ryder was Spock's mom! Spock's mom! What?! How old are we getting if Winona Ryder can be the mother of adult Spock? Wow. Spock's mom.
Last year, I went to "Penelope" with some high school girls. While all very excited about James McAvoy, on the ride home they asked, "So who was the girl?" Christina Ricci! The girl was Christina Ricci! How can you not know who Christina Ricci is?
And finally, when "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" opened, I knew I was old since I thought Mr. Tumnus was cute instead of Peter.
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| To make The Flame proudI thought I should write here. For Danielle. Well. For me. Because my writing is for me. But for Danielle, because she teased me about writing here.
Maybe that's all I'll write. ;) I really don't know what else to say.
I have two plants. I got them at IKEA. I bought the first one, because it was little and cheap and I wanted a plant when I saw that they had plants. I bought the second one, because it was only 99 cents in their "As Is" section and it was cheap. Also I decided I would save it!
Right now one of them is inside. And one of them is outside. The one that is outside is there, because the tag said it needed direct sunlight. The other one is inside, because it's tag only said, "Mixed Tropicals" and nothing else. I wish plants didn't need light, because then I would always keep them inside anywhere I wanted. For instance, I would maybe put them on top of the cabinets in the kitchen.
I want to put things on top of the cabinets in the kitchen. For instance, if I had a plate collection they would look nice up there. Or if I had some ceramic cats, they would look nice up there. What could I put up there for free or incredibly cheap? I looked around at GoodWill, but the one closest to us is more expensive than I imagine a GoodWill to be. (Note to GoodWills: Your prices should always be cheap enough that I can make an impulse buy just because something is absolutely ridiculous.) So what should I put up there? Sticks? Litter? Computer cables?
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| Friends... and what that means to an aging womanI have almost written about this struggle for some time now and here I finally am. But where to begin?
I miss my friends. I have incredible friends. They don't live in Arizona, though.
By the time we left California last year, I had three girls I could have called if I wanted to do something. Not that I had really tried to make friends there, but those three relationships came about through activities in which I was involved. Even so, I don't think I ever called one of them to hang out. My girl hangout times last year consisted of two coffee shop rendezvouses, one trip into Los Angeles, and one spa moment. (Apart from when Cindie and Alissa came to visit--which isn't exactly applicable to this subject.)
Perhaps I didn't really care about girl time since I was working in the day and hanging out with Matt at night. Perhaps the only reason this matters so much now is that I'm a mom.
So six months ago we move to Arizona. Right away I started looking for a MOPS group and looking at activities on Craigslist. The activities stuff is another show stopper, though. For instance, I found a lady who was hosting a cookie exchange night where you bring a dozen cookies and a bunch of copies of the recipes. You hang out, eat cookies, and exchange recipes. Perfect if I had a friend to go to it with.
Since we moved in the summer, MOPS hadn't started yet. One morning I tried going to the "Young Families" class at church. Pretty much everyone there (there was one girl that I thought might be my age) looked significantly older than Matt and myself. And while they were nice, and a few husbands talked about football and cops, it sure didn't look promising for building good friendships.
Okay, MOPS. So MOPS starts and I envision meeting a bunch of other young moms and making a couple of close girlfriends. Or at least one. And again with the age gap. There are a some other girls who look younger and closer to my age, but they aren't in my table group. And I love MOPS and I enjoy all of the ladies there and I feel like I have relationships with people, at least at MOPS, but not a close girlfriend. Was it too much to envision my personality really hitting it off with someone else's? You know, like an instant kindred spirit? And I do have one potential friend there, so I should probably just call her and start pursuing the relationship and hope that it just grows and grows.
So there is one potential friendship. Then there are also two girls that I know sort of well because we all work with the high school youth group at my church. Honestly, one of them is an absolute riot and I really enjoy her, but I also know that she has a really close group of girlfriends here and they all live in the area. And I just don't even want to compete with that. And work at it. And steal time when she could be hanging out with them. And then move away. And that's if she would even have time to do anything with me.
Which brings me to today. Last night I couldn't get to sleep right away so I started looking at churches in our area since we just moved. (Matt and I are thinking of joining a Bible study.) Well, there's a nearby Cornerstone church and they have a MOMS group that meets just once a month. And today just happened to be the day. So I thought, "I don't have anything going on... I'll try that out and see what it's like." And I prayed and prayed to really hit it off with someone today and to come away with a new friend. I was feeling it.
Well, I knew it would most likely be a big group since I assumed the church was pretty large and I was right. That was okay. I did the registration thing, went into the main room and got breakfast, and then stepped back to decide where to sit--this I figured, would be the big deal breaker on whether or not I could leave having a friend. So I surveyed the tables and tried to find one with girls who looked my age. I finally decided on one where three girls were sitting. I walked over, sat down my plate, smiled, and said, "Hi." They glanced up at me and continued their conversation. Not a single one of them took a second to respond to me with a simple "hi"! My heart fell--I knew this was a bad sign. I thought about moving on, but I had already put my plate down, so I felt committed to stay.
So I sat down. And they talked. And I started to eat my breakfast. I was sort of crying for the first half of the meeting. I only had to wipe my eyes maybe twice, though. It was awful. And I hated it. And I sort of threw myself a pity party, but I didn't really care, because sometimes it's okay to be sad. I did get a free candy bar out of the deal since it's my birthday this month, but even that little bit was sort of a fiasco in my mind.
Okay, I wasn't going to write about the birthday part, but here's the little side note about it since I thought it was sort of ridiculous in itself. They asked everyone born in February to come up and stand in front of the stage. I was feeling pretty down from my shun and wasn't going to go up there, but then decided that I'd probably get something free and went up last minute. So the lady in charge of this had printed out significant things that had happened in February for about five particular days of the month. Well, pretty much all of us were all born between the 19 and the 25 so we weren't matching up to her dates. (And she practically made it sound like it was bad we were born so late since she was born on the 3rd.) So she gave some special little extra stupid gifts to the girls that were closest to the dates on her sheet (which meant the earlier dates) and then just me and the girl born on the 25th were left standing there and suddenly she was like, "Okay, that was all. You can go sit down now." And it was just sort of awkward. Not a big deal, but the morning already hadn't been off to a good start. (I did get the standard birthday gift, though, just to clarify.)
So I thought about getting up and leaving in the middle, because I really wasn't enjoying the speaker either, but waited it out in the end. For most of it, I wrote stupid sentences about how much longer it was going to be in Whitney and I's dren code. So the speaker finishes and it's discussion questions time and these girls talk about where they live for five minutes. And then for the last 5-10 minutes they make me talk with them and I force a nice fake smile onto my face.
Anyhow, friends. I want my friends. I have some really really great friends. And I feel like high school and college really provides an amazing atmosphere for making good friends. And these people really know me and I know them. And I'm not just some stupid old married mother person to them. Which is my other fear... am I going to be making my friends from here on out at the PTA and they're going to be boring old women? I'm not boring! I don't want to be boring! I don't want to be perceived as boring! I'm young! And even if I wasn't, I'm cool! Or fun. Or witty. Or something. Please believe me.
Occasionally an activity will come up that I want to go to. (But not alone. I go to everything alone. Or with Matt--but those are Matt appropriate activities.) So an activity comes up and I think, "Oh, that'd be fun!" And then I think, "Who could I call to go with me?" And as I run through the options I shoot them all down... and go to some MOMS group on a Monday morning desperate to really hit it off with someone and make a friend.
I feel like I have so much more to say. But I also feel like I don't. My tears have a lot more to say, though. Oh, it seems that they do.
I miss the girls that matter most to me.
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| Moving.I hate moving. Packing everything up just to move it all somewhere else.
But I'm also excited. Because Matt and I might move.
There's a rather nicer apartment complex really close to where he works and since our lease is ending, we just might jump ship. Yep, move just to have a nicer place. A place with a washer and dryer in unit. A kitchen with counter tops and cupboards that offer more than a camper. So... yeah... kind of excited.
But we'll see.
It's still moving.
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